My innermost thoughts spoken yet never out loud
I learned years ago not to say them or open myself up
For it was never considered important enough
So needless to say, I am good at keeping them inside
Maybe that was the final cause for the rose to die.
Nothing was ever good enough for him to be satisfied
The grass was always greener – on the other side
Though I did my best, I tried, I swear I did
Still it was not enough ~ so in the end I failed.
Do you know how it feels for each an every passing day
To be degraded by either a look, comment or horrible name
No, then I’ll tell you ~ totally worthless is how
So now I am left dealing with all types of damage repair
Rebuilding of self-respect; not just myself ~ but kids as well
Not to mention paying all the bills an keep the house running.
Yes I do know I have so much to give
Though I will never ask, nor would I ever expect
For the man that I may love
To at this moment in time, to fully be apart of my life
With what I call, "my life’s jumbled mess".
This is what I keep inside, that hurts the most
An working from dawn to dusk, does not push it far enough away
For with every dreadful night, it comes back to rear its ugliness
Yes ~ loneliness ~ I admit it, are you happy now?
For even though that electric blanket keeps me warm
It will never replace the touch of a lovers strong arm
Nor in the still quietness of the night air
Replaces the sound of a heart beating beneath my ear.
I do know this though, don’t get me wrong
It may take some time, for me to fix all of this
Then this rose, who with each day gets more strong
Will finally bloom an blossom again
For that very special man.
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Artwork is image copyright @ Jonathan Earl Bowser
